At a recent technology Meetup, I was chatting with a man who is the CEO of a big Internet Marketing firm. While he makes decisions every day about how to spend tens of thousands of dollars of his client’s funds on Search Engine Marketing, he was at a loss about how to spend his funds to take his wife on a date.

They had agreed to get a sitter and go out one night a week. Last time, she planned a picnic and brought sushi to munch on in the park. When he learned that I wrote “Intimacies,” he asked me for some suggestions for the next date, when it would be his turn to come up with an inventive plan.

Off the top of my head, I was at a loss for ideas. But I promised to give it some thought and send him email with suggestions. Here’s what he got:

You may recall my promise to send you some suggestions for memorable dates with your wife. It’s lovely that you two are making a concerted effort to delight each other with nontraditional plans. Of course there’s always things to do such as hearing live music, dancing of all kinds, taking a massage class for couples, renting a Kayak on Ladybird Lake, or….

When we chatted, I missed the opportunity to tell you that one of the chapters in my book is focused on the topic of dating rituals. It’s Chapter 28: “Courtship rituals and dating: Just hanging out or mating?” I hope you will please consider ordering my book from https://trueintimacies.com. You’ll find lots of other topics about relationships covered in the book. You can preview the TOC online at https://trueintimacies.com/pdf/contents.pdf.

A date in which you order in Chinese takeout, give the book to your wife, read some of the short chapters together and discuss one or two of the topics they raise, may be just the ticket.

The essay on dating that appears on page 149 my book, Intimacies, suggests going on a date to a Sculpture Academy that no longer is in business in Austin. But you might consider making a date to participate in any number of programs in art centers around Austin. My husband, Arye Shapiro, organizes life drawing (costume drawing) sessions at the Austin Visual Arts Association. There are dozens of life drawing events around town each month, and those might be fun for the two of you. You might even try drawing each other!

Or go together to a Yoga class. I’m going to be teaching Yoga this Thursday night, and I recommend my gentle class and all the classes offered in Barton Hills at the ATMA Studio Center. See my class listing at http://netingenuity.com/yoga. (Karuna is my Yogic name.)

Come to one of the monthly events I host at BookPeople. We get a mix of couples and singles and always have a lively, eye-opening conversation about relationships. Sept 17, the topic will be about taking risks in relationships. 7 pm-8:30 pm. More details on my blog.

I expect to see a lot more of Karen Rayne, being quoted as an expert,, in the news soon. This is from her blog of Karen Rayne:

Adolescent sexuality has loomed large in the news this last week, with the announcement of rabid-anti-comprehensive-sex-education Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin as the Republican VP nominee.  The disconnect between Governor Palin’s political perspective on sex education and her teenage daughter, who is five months pregnant, has added substantial depth to the media coverage of comprehensive sex education.  I have felt renewed excitement about offering comprehensive sex education to more teenagers as the Republicans have stated their support of Bristol Palin, her boyfriend, and her family.

Dr. Karen Rayne presents a four-session class for parents on how to talk with children and teenagers more easily and effectively about issues of sex and sexuality.

Topics include: What teenagers need to know about sex and sexuality and how you can help teach them that knowledge and those skills.  Common assumptions about adolescent sexuality and what’s right and wrong.  How to push past non-communicative teenagers and how to best support the talkative teenagers.

Dates: September 21st and 28th and October 5th and 12th
Times: Sundays, 3:30 – 5:00
Place: Oak Hill (South Austin)
Cost: $175/individual, $300/couple

If you have questions or would like more information, please do not hesitate to contact her through her website and blog (http://www.karenrayne.com ).

Thanks to everyone who voted for the panel I’ve proposed to moderate at the SXSW Interactive Festival.  Your many supportive comments were great to read and should go a long way toward influencing the conference organizers to invite me and the extraordinary panelists who have agreed to participate. The Panel Picker was closed at midnight on Friday, August 29. Here is a transcript of the comments:

Level:
Beginner
Type:
Panel
Category:
Human / Social Issues
Presenter:
Karen Kreps, Net Ingenuity Publishing
Description:
Creators of popular online teen sexuality content—including the Midwest Teen Sex Show and Scarleteen.com—community educators, scholars and advocates discuss teenagers, sex, and the Internet. Content developers, parents and teens: Bring your questions, fears and hopes. We’ll answer generational quandaries. Sexy prizes for the best questions.

Karen Kreps
3 weeks, 1 day ago
I’m very excited about the wonderful women who will be on this panel: Karen Rayne PhD, Heather Corinna, Nikol Hasler, Kris Gowan PhD. Karen Rayne earned her Ph.D. in Educational Psychology, which she puts to good use educating parents about how to talk with their teens about sex and romance. She also provides comprehensive sex education to teenagers. Heather Corinna is a sex educator and activist, founder and editor of Scarleteen.com, and author of “S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College.” Heather, via her website Scarleteen, serves tens of thousands of teens and young adults internationally every day, making sure they have a trusted place to ask questions they can’t ask anyone else. Nikol Hasler is one-third of a highly entertaining podcast, “The Midwest Teen Sex Show.” A Midwestern mother of three (who isn’t afraid to use her children in the service of sex education) Nikol has no formal training as a sex educator but along with her co-creators Guy Clark and Britney Barber, she has created a great sex education tool, playing with stereotypes not just about sex, but about age, race, class, and orientation in a way that is engaging and opinionated enough to be useful. Kris Gowan has a Master’s in Education in Human Development and Psychology and a PhD in Child and Adolescent Development. She is the author of “Sexual Decisions” (Scarecrow Press, 2003) and started www.teensforum.com (but left before it became overly commercialized) Her research has focused on healthy relationships/sexuality in adolescence and lately on positive youth development and the intersection between youth, the Internet and sexual development/sexual identity. I’ll be moderating the panel. I have more than two decades developing interactive content (www.netingenuity.com), and I’ve written and published the book, “Intimacies: Secrets of Love, Sex & Romance,” a collection of columns I writes for The Good Life magazine. See https://trueintimacies.com. For six years, I’ve hosted monthly public discussions about love, sex and romance. I’ve attended every SXSWi and twice served on panels. Some of the questions that will be answered on this panel include: 1. What do teens want to know about sex? 2. How do they use the Internet to find answers? 3. Which social media tools provide the best sexual education? 4. What positive or negative impact can the Web have on teen sexuality? 5. At what ages should online use by children and teens be monitored? 6. Are parents abdicating their roles as sex educators to the Internet? 7. Does online info encourage or discourage sexual experimentation by teens? 8. What role does the Internet play in educating youth about sex? 9. Can the government regulate online sex education and should it? 10. Can online sex info be trusted for accuracy?
Karen Rayne
3 weeks, 1 day ago
I am so excited to be part of this panel! My co-panelists are amazing women who have each in their own right done amazing work online and off with teenagers and topics around sexuality. Teenagers have the potential to learn a lot about sex and sexuality online these days. Many adults make assumptions about teenagers staying in designated adolescent spaces online that are simply not true. Coming to a fuller understanding of patterns and trends in this area is enlightening and useful when working with online social networks, blogging, sex and sexuality sites, and many other areas where teenagers may not be expected to tread. And, of course, how can you turn down the offer of a sexy gift in exchange for a juicy question? We hope to see you there!
Brian Massey
2 weeks, 5 days ago
Bold Topic. I’ll be there with several people from a client.
Sue Reading
2 weeks, 4 days ago
This is a fantastically great idea. Karen has been making Austin people’s relationships and sex lives healthier and happier (and more fun) for years, and I think this panel will be a great step forward in finding ways to help young people find healthy ways to adjust to their changing lives.
Kris Gowen
2 weeks, 4 days ago
I really hope that we will be able to present. As a sex educator, I am realizing more and more that given the sorry state of sex ed in our schools, more youth are going to be turning to the internet to get the “facts” about sex. They already come in droves to amazing online resources like Heather’s Scarlet Teen and Nicole’s Midwest Teen Sex Show — but what’s next? And what happens when youth create their own content (some more constructive than others). Overall a cool topic, an amazing panel — one that I am honored to be a part of.
Laura Baker
2 weeks, 2 days ago
What a wonderful idea. This is one panel that will be really helpful to everyone.
Dorian Rinehart
2 weeks, 2 days ago
This sounds great, a panel I’ll enjoy attending and that can help me with my clients. I’ll be encouraging others to come also.
Alice Fielding
2 weeks, 2 days ago
I think this is a wonderful idea. Anyone of any age can benefit from good sex ed, and it’s especially important to keep up to date on how sex ed meshes with ever-changing technology that we old folks (in our twenties!) may not be familiar with.
Elena Michaelson
2 weeks, 2 days ago
Hooray for Karen! Bold topic, but one that needs to be brought out in the open. We pay a high price for failing to be open and curious about this with our teens. A true effort to help.
Pam Knight
2 weeks, 2 days ago
Great topic and panel members. Hey, maybe those of us who are still kids at heart will really learn something… to uh, pass on to those teens!
Robert Heil
2 weeks, 1 day ago
Based on the past work of the panelist, this would be a great session.
Russ Boyd
2 weeks, 1 day ago
Great idea. It is a topic that needs the taboo removed from open honest discussions.
Gerald Stern
2 weeks, 1 day ago
This is a topic that is in great need to discussion. As the parent of a 14 year old, this would be a definite on my agenda.
Donald Halbauer
2 weeks, 1 day ago
Interesting panel. Empowering parents to better help their children with regards to sex ed cannot be anything other than a requirement in todays world.
Don Young
2 weeks, 1 day ago
The schools say little, and sometimes nothing, about sex, sexuality and romance. Online education for teens is likely the best way to reach them today. This topic needs the attention and boost that SXSW would certainly give it. Great panel! I would definitely attend
Ruth Rinehart
2 weeks, 1 day ago
This is a great idea for a panel, and what a lineup of the panelists! Karen Kreps and Karen Rayne are top notch in education and sexuality. Way to go, both of you. I look forward to coming, and I’ll be putting the word out as well to clients and community up here in Colorado.
Epic Rule
2 weeks ago
This is a fantastic panel with a wonderful topic. I am truly amazed.
george cummings
2 weeks ago
With over 20 years working in the multimedia industry along with 15+ years of observing Karen’s passion (no pun intended) for her interactive projects. I feel somewhat qualified in offering my full endorsement to the SXSW Advisory Board to approve her panel. I think anyone who knows Karen would agree, she is a very knowledgeable subject matter expert for both interactive projects and healthy sexual communication skills which makes her the perfect moderator for this panel.
p c middleton
2 weeks ago
Great topic & panel, well thought out and on point.
Liz Rantanen
2 weeks ago
If kids don’t find out about sex at school or at home, one of the places that they will probably turn to is the internet. People need to find out what kids what to know and how to safely provide it, whether it be at school, at home, or on the internet. This panel covers this discussion from all aspects.
Allissa Oughtred
1 week, 5 days ago
This is a great topic and I am very interested to attend
Marilyn Kelso
1 week, 5 days ago
This is a very contempory topic that needs discussion through this panel. The women on the panel are all very qualified and dedicated to the content.
Marilyn Kelso
1 week, 5 days ago
Oops. I didn’t see the voting stars at the top. I hope this gets my vote in correctly that this is a topic that needs to be presented.
Niki Doering
1 week, 4 days ago
I am a founding board member of the Remarkable Women’s Conferences. We invited Karen to speak at our Conference this year because she was so well received the first time at an evening event we hosted in February. Both her presentations pulled bigger audiences than almost anything we have hosted in the last 2 1/2 years. Karen brings a wealth of very valuable information and I’m sure she has pulled together a top notch panel based on what she herself brings to the table. This is an area of information very acutely under served in our society and I believe we need all the help that can be offered from high caliber sources such as these appear to be. Please do include her. You’ll be happy you did.
Cyd Gorman
1 week, 4 days ago
Teens need to understand the possible consequences of unprotected sex. Some schools have sex ed programs and some do not. Hopefully programs like this would fill in the gaps! Cyd Kilbey Gorman
Angie Rubottom
1 week, 3 days ago
I am so glad to see this panel happening in this forum. This is such an important topic for humanity to more consciously educate and civilize, maybe even enlighten ourselves in the realm of our sexuality. Karen is such a pioneer in this area. Her wisdom outstrips her age by years.
Anna Larsen
1 week, 2 days ago
These are some of the best and most important sites online. When it comes to sex ed, we need to move beyond empty rhetoric and propaganda and talk about real life, which is what these presenters do. Who better to discuss these issues than the pioneers in the field?
Sasha Wilson
1 week, 2 days ago
This sounds like a fantastic panel. This topic needs more time and attention from us all, I think.
Zephyr Mattinson
1 week, 2 days ago
This sounds great. I’m familiar with Scarleteen and have seen how actively they work to reach a huge variety of people – a skill we could all use. This is a fabulous lineup and I look forward to seeing it happen.
Jess Meacham
1 week, 2 days ago
This panel addresses one of the most important and generally under-represented areas of social policy. The panelists are experts and their work is hugely important – sounds fantastic and much needed!
Thia Coward
6 days, 12 hours ago
Great topic, with a fantastic panel.
Jill Frazier
5 days, 9 hours ago
The sexual health of women is the most potent idea of feminism. Karen, looks like you’ve pointed your torch in the right direction to help females of all ages learn how to be honest, intimate, and healthy! Brava!
lindsey lane
4 days, 22 hours ago
Karen Kreps is fearless and high quality. Do it with her now!!!
Arye Shapiro
3 days, 9 hours ago
Great topic!! Social agendas frequently prevent teens from obtaining objective information about sexuality in a timely fashion. For this reason, it would be extremely valuable to have this panel on sex ed online.
Jennifer Lobasz
2 days, 22 hours ago
This is such an important topic, and the panelists are incredibly talented.
Alice Bacon
2 days, 20 hours ago
Great Site, Scarleteen… Kudos
don norris
22 hours, 33 minutes ago
I think Karen is REALLY on to something!…We need this panel on sex ed. Schools don’t do enough…young women need to know how to deal with their sexuality. And, Karen is a very bright woman.
richard merritt
9 hours, 13 minutes ago
I think the topic is timely and with very forthright approach. Human sexuality is a topic that could be more in the American dialog. My European friends are amazed we Americans criticize the Europeans for having sex on thier televisions… The Europeans respond that when they visit the USA all they find on our television is violence/murder/mayhem and nothing about human sexuality. “what is wrong with this picture” is their constant comment. Good going Karen…

Please support my efforts to get the SXSW Interactive Festival to accept my proposal for a panel I would like to host during the March 13-17, 2009 conference.

The SXSW Interactive Festival (http://sxsw.com/interactive) is an industry conference for web developers and digital creatives, held in Austin and now in its 15th year. These days the conference has become so popular that it gets hundreds of proposals, like mine, from people who would like to present at the conference. To help them sort out what people what to hear, the conference organizers now use a web-based panel picker. I’m writing to ask you to please visit and use the panel picker and to place a vote on it for my proposal and leave a comment.

***
==> Please go to http://panelpicker.sxsw.com/  and, in the search box, enter “Sex Ed” in order to quickly find the listing for my proposal, place your vote and leave a comment. The panel picker will be active until August 29. Please act now!
***

Watch my video plug:
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=21477839524&ref=nf

It will take you less than 3 minutes and costs nothing, but you must open an account on the panel picker to post a comment. You are not signing onto any e-mail lists by giving  your information, and you do not need to attend the conference nor must you have attended it in the past in order to vote for my panel.  While votes to rate the proposal (1-5 stars) are valuable, I’m told that what really counts with the organizers it is having comments written about why someone would be a good speaker and/or why the topic is of interest. So please vote for my idea and comment!

Here is the title and description for the panel I am proposing:

Sex Ed Online: How Teens Self Savvy

Creators of popular online teen sexuality content—including the Midwest Teen Sex Show and Scarleteen.com—community educators, scholars and advocates discuss teenagers, sex, and the Internet. Content developers, parents and teens: Bring your questions, fears and hopes. We’ll answer generational quandaries. Sexy prizes for the best questions.

And here are more details:

I’m very excited about the wonderful women who will be on this panel: Karen Rayne PhD, Heather Corinna, Nikol Hasler, Kris Gowan PhD.

* Karen Rayne earned her Ph.D. in Educational Psychology, which she puts to good use educating parents about how to talk with their teens about sex and romance. She also provides comprehensive sex education to teenagers.
* Heather Corinna is a sex educator and activist, founder and editor of Scarleteen.com, and author of “S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College.” Heather, via her website Scarleteen, serves tens of thousands of teens and young adults internationally every day, making sure they have a trusted place to ask questions they can’t ask anyone else.
* Nikol Hasler is one-third of a highly entertaining podcast, “The Midwest Teen Sex Show.” A Midwestern mother of three (who isn’t afraid to use her children in the service of sex education) Nikol has no formal training as a sex educator but along with her co-creators Guy Clark and Britney Barber, she has created a great sex education tool, playing with stereotypes not just about sex, but about age, race, class, and orientation in a way that is engaging and opinionated enough to be useful.
* Kris Gowan has a Master’s in Education in Human Development and Psychology and a PhD in Child and Adolescent Development. She is the author of “Sexual Decisions” (Scarecrow Press, 2003) and started www.teensforum.com (but left before it became overly commercialized) Her research has focused on healthy relationships/sexuality in adolescence and lately on positive youth development and the intersection between youth, the Internet and sexual development/sexual identity.

I, Karen Kreps, will be moderating the panel. I have more than two decades developing interactive content (www.netingenuity.com), and I’ve written and published the book, “Intimacies: Secrets of Love, Sex & Romance,” a collection of columns I writes for The Good Life magazine. See https://trueintimacies.com. For six years, I’ve hosted monthly public discussions about love, sex and romance. I’ve attended every SXSWi and twice served on panels.

Some of the questions that will be answered on this panel include: 1. What do teens want to know about sex? 2. How do they use the Internet to find answers? 3. Which social media tools provide the best sexual education? 4. What positive or negative impact can the Web have on teen sexuality? 5. At what ages should online use by children and teens be monitored? 6. Are parents abdicating their roles as sex educators to the Internet? 7. Does online info encourage or discourage sexual experimentation by teens? 8. What role does the Internet play in educating youth about sex? 9. Can the government regulate online sex education and should it? 10. Can online sex info be trusted for accuracy?

I will be most grateful for any support you can offer and hope that you will please use the Panel Picker and vote for my proposal. Thanks!

==> Please go to http://panelpicker.sxsw.com/  and, in the search box, enter “Sex Ed” in order to quickly find the listing for my proposal, place your vote and leave a comment. The panel picker will be active until August 29. Please act now!

KK

Author of “Intimacies: Secrets of Love, Sex & Romance”
www.TrueIntimacies.com