Intimacies:

Archive for the ‘General’ Category

I have been invited to speak this Sunday at the Public Affairs Forum at the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Austin   – 4700 Grover Avenue  Austin, TX 78756, (512) 452-6168. Forums start at 11:30 and last for one hour. The public is invited to  attend, and admission is free.

I expect to have fun and hope you will join me.

Here’s the program announcement:

Karen Kreps is Austin’s own version of Carrie Bradshaw, Ann Landers and Dr. Ruth. She is the author of Intimacies: Secrets of Love, Sex & Romance. She’ll share recollections and anecdotes from her seven years writing candid explorations of personal relationships, which appeared in a popular column published by The Good Life magazine (until the publication folded last year), and hosting public discussions about lovers and lust at BookPeople. She will address people’s Number One questions about relationships and encouraging audience questions and comments. No charge, just bring an open mind and a sense of humor.

June 13, 2010
11:30 am to 12:30 pm
4700 Grover Avenue
Austin, TX

Submit your Number One question and learn more about her book at TrueIntimacies.com

Karen has a Master of Arts Degree in Cinema Studies from New York University and works as an independent producer of creative web content, blogging about technology and social media at NetIngenuity.com

Twitter: For those who would like to Tweet about this event, the hash tag is #intimacies

The talk  will be broadcast on ChannelAustin, channel 10.  (Public Access TV), http://www.channelaustin.org. The times are TBA. I expect to get a copy of the recording and will post it on the web for remote viewing.

Behind closed doors in a nice South Austin neighborhood, fourteen strangers crowded into a small livingroom for a three-hour workshop on how to give a woman a sensual massage and make her feel safe and relaxed and fully surrender.

There were seven single men and two single women, including four couples, ages ranging from 27 to 77. Everyone seemed relieved to find a congenial group of normal-looking adults who were genuinely interested in learning and excited by the potential that the workshop promised.

Charla Hathaway, an erotic coach and author of the book, Erotic Massage: Sensual Touch for Deep Pleasure and Extended Arousal, welcomed everyone and explained the structure for the afternoon. There’d be an hour of introduction and discussion about sensual massage, followed by a demonstration (back, front and genital), and a wrap-up talk. She introduced herself and her model, on whom she would later demonstrate. The model was an attractive and charming young woman, totally at ease with nudity. She explained that she has been studying erotic arts in California and was very much looking forward to the massage she was about to get.

Charla put everyone at ease, elevating the energy with spiritual discussion of Tantric arts and respect for the human body. A high level of trust was established. She got everyone to share openly about what they wanted to let go of as they entered the class, what they wanted to bring into the experience and what they intended to get out of the experience. There were seven single men and two single women, including four couples, ages ranging from 27 to 77.

By the time everyone entered the massage room, circling around the table, there was so much respect in that room–between the students, to the model and teacher and for each our bodies.  There was a shared sense of privilege to be privy to a very private, intimate affair, to be welcome to simply watch and or to try a couple of techniques on the model while under the careful guidance of the coach.

Charla demonstrated used of props like feathers and fur, cornstarch (yes, from out of the pantry) and oil to soothe and relax all the muscles. She got every to breathe in rhythm with the model as she explained and the model confirmed what where the most pleasurable strokes and approaches.  As genital strokes were demonstrated on a live person, everyone asked respectful questions and the women shared their experiences and preferences. No massage was ever too slow. Breasts could never be massaged too much, but the nipples should be touched last. Asking permission before penetrating your lover’s body in any way was only decent.

While only the model got the massage, everyone present was touched and opened in new ways that would affect them for the rest of their adult lives.

–Karen Kreps is the author of Intimacies: Secrets of Live, Sex & Romance, and blogs at TrueIntimacies.com.

This just-released video was shot at SXSW09 Interactive. Paul Walhus interviews Karen Kreps about the Core Conversation she was about to host at SXSW on  “Sex Ed Online: How Teens Self Savvy,” her background as a Web developer and the Austin lifestyle she enjoys.

Link:

There’s no finer place to catch a few rays and perfect your line-free tan than Hippie Hollow on Lake Travis.

This bucolic area is a clothing-optional public park in Texas. When I mentioned that I liked going there, a friend asked if she could join me sometime. This was surprising, as she was going on seventy. She’s gone skinny dipping with girlfriends, but has never in her life been any place like a nude beach. Her husband of fifty years and her grown kids applauded her impulse to venture out with me. We packed towels, chairs, lunch and plenty of sunscreen—but no bathing suits—and off we went.

It’s a world away from the bustle of nearby Austin, a haven for those who wish to escape the rigors of modern life in a safe and comfortable nudist atmosphere. Hippie Hollow welcomes visitors from all over the world. The park of one hundred and nine acres features a steep, rocky limestone shoreline and provides some spectacular views of Lake Travis. Clothing optional means just that. You don’t have to take off your clothes. Plenty of people don’t. Only it feels a lot better in the water. And in the breeze. And in the sun.

On weekend afternoons, the rocks will be crowded with people sunning themselves with no inhibition, chatting, reading, snacking, and playing cards. Stroll past the second bathhouse and you’re in the gay neighborhood. Everywhere people are friendly, unusually so. A community has evolved that stays in touch with a forum on www.hippiehollow.com. (You’ll find directions and more information there as well.)

On that site, one denizen stated, “You can set up near others or tucked in a corner if you want to take tentative steps. As for body shape and level of attention, it’s simply not an issue. Folks you meet will be friendly and they’ve seen it all before, and there’s an infinite variety of people sun worshipping, swimming, relaxing and socializing. Just go ahead and get the first time out of the way, and you’ll be hooked.”

In my experience, there’s less of a sexual charge on a nude beach because nothing is hidden. When we wear bikinis it says, “I’ll show you most of me, but there are parts that I won’t show you, are secret.” But attitudes about being naked in public vary as much as the do the bodies on display: Rotund, lanky; with tan lines and without.

To see and appreciate the human form in all its variations is the main attraction, and some are forthright about it. One man, undressed and unnamed, says, “It’s so rare to be able to be naked with other people. I like looking at people. It’s stimulating.”

For some, to be out in nature in one’s birthday suit is only natural. “After any amount of time nude at the Hollow, I am loathe to put my clothes back on to leave,” states Jimbo9, moderator of the HippieHollow.com message board. “I hate it. I wanna be naked all the time, everywhere.”

Others find it a liberating challenge to disrobe. Gene recalls: “I used to think it was bad for a straight guy to go alone to a nude beach because I thought that people would think you were there just to gawk. Not so it seems. I felt so free taking my clothes off for the first time and nobody cared.”

Some worry about running into people they know. The first time we came there, my husband met a guy he used to work with at IBM.

Hippie Hollow used to be owned by the McGregor family and was legally a nude beach because it was on private property. When McGregor died he willed the land to Travis County, provided that it always remains a clothing optional beach. If the county ever tried to close it down, it would lose title to the property. The county makes far too much money on admission fees to do that.

At Hippie Hollow sexual activity is not just rude, it’s illegal. One can get ticketed, banned from the park, arrested or any combination of all three. Cameras are allowed, but it is a crime to take pictures without permission and for sexual gratification. This should catch a guy sitting concealed in the bushes with a telephoto lens, but should not affect couples or small groups of people openly and knowingly taking pictures of each other.

My friend was delighted by her first experience. She said, “It’s so freeing to be able to go in the water without anything on. It feels great to take a walk wearing nothing but a sarong and nothing underneath. I was glad you suggested I bring a sarong. They’re perfect when you want to cover up without effort.”

She said she’d have come much sooner, but she couldn’t find anyone with whom to go.

Jimbo9 states, “Hippie Hollow is perfect for showing up alone. After one gets comfortable with being a single party, then one begins meeting people. Meeting people in order to go to the Hollow is much more difficult.”

On our weekday morning visit, my friend and I found ourselves almost the only women there. When we showed any receptivity, men were quick to come over and chat. All left when we wished them a good day and said goodbye.

A couple of creeps made pests of themselves by walking by us repeatedly and too often saying hello. Pathetic! We’d have had a better time with more mixed company. Creeps who go there only to gawk can be real deterrents, but my friend laughed when she saw the lineup of boats motoring just beyond the buoys that rope off a swimming area. She said, “I hope they’re enjoying themselves half as much as we are.”

Here at SXSW09 Interactive, Melisssa Giri interviewed Karen Rayne and myself about the Core Conversation  we’ll be hosting 5 pm in room 19B at the Austin Convention Center.

Here’s a bit of what I said to Melissa: “The Internet is creating a paradigm shift in traditional sex ed. It throws open the window on sexuality and intimacy, democratizing access to new levels of understanding and skill. Just a few generations ago, the ancient teachings of Tantra Yoga were secrets shared only with select initiates. Now all one have to do is Google it to learn. The Internet has spread new Sex Positive concepts and provided in-depth discussions of polyamory. We are no longer limited to only knowing what Mommy and Daddy knew and told us about the birds and the bees or books we could find and read in private. We can learn about how other people make love, broaden our experience from the safety of our homes without risk, and adapt as much as we please in our personal lives.”

Read more at Melissa’s blog.

See the links we suggest on the topic of Sex Ed Online.

I’m delighted to announce that I’ve been invited to host a Core Conversation at the SXSW Interactive Festival in Austin, TX. It will occur Sunday,  March 15, 5 pm in Rm 19B at the Austin Convention Center.   The topic will be “Sex Ed Online: How Teens Self Savvy,” and joining me in presenting this hour-long conversation will be Karen Rayne, PhD. She is an expert in adolescent development and education who teaches workshops and counsels parents and teens on human sexuality.

Some of the questions I’ll be asking Karen:

1. What do teens want to know about sex?
2. How do they use the Internet to find answers?
3. Which social media tools provide the best sexual education?
4. What positive or negative impact can the Web have on teen sexuality?
5. At what ages should online use by children and teens be monitored?
6. Are parents abdicating their roles as sex educators to the Internet?
7. Does online info encourage or discourage sexual experimentation by teens?
8. What role does the Internet play in educating youth about sex?
9. Can the government regulate online sex education and should it?
10. Can online sex info be trusted for accuracy?

Thanks to everyone who commented on the SXSW panel picker in support of my proposal. They  received more than 1300 panel proposals for the 2009 South by Southwest (SXSW) Interactive Festival. Most of these ideas are extremely impressive in their analysis of current (and future!) issues in the new media landscape. In lieu of a panel, I was invited to host a more intimate Core Conversation. This will have a format much like the monthly meetings I host at BookPeople. At a SXSW Core Conversation, there’ll be 30-50 people seated and standing around a round table with one or two presenters. I’m excited that Karen Rayne and I will have the opportunity to talk on this personal topic with the  web developers and digital creatives who attend this conference.

Now I’m very challenged to learn more about the subject. Please share your thoughts and insights into how the Web is changing how and what adolecents know about sex and sexuality.

Intimacies: Secrets of Love, Sex & Romance by Karen Kreps

Buy the book for yourself, someone you love or a friend who could use it.

Since 2002, minds have been opened by Karen Kreps’s insights about love and lovers, shared over seven years in monthly columns for The Good Life magazine and the public conversation group that met monthly  at BookPeople to discuss these personal topics.   Her book, Intimacies: Secrets of Love, Sex & Romance, contains a collection of her columns and is illustrated with photographs of figurative sculpture by her husband, Arye Shapiro.

Karen is an advocate for giving voice to what needs to be said, even it it breaks a taboo or two. Read her blog below, ask her a question and download her free ebook, Choice Intimacies, and get satisfaction between the covers of her book.

The Intimacies Conversation Group meetings, hosted monthly by Karen Kreps, 2002-Jan 2009, was sponsored by

At our last meeting, on Jan 21, we talked about

“Love in the Recession”

It was our final meeting at BookPeople  after a seven-year run, since our sponsor, The Good Life magazine, has ceased publication.

Watch as this site transforms over the coming weeks to take the Intimacies discussion to new dimensions.

Please tell us what you think of the book, the column or the meetings. Leave a comment below. (If comment form isn’t showing below,  please click on the title of this post and it will appear in the new page.)

Sitting on my desk in artfully designed shiny foil wrappers are chocolate-, grape- and banana-flavored condoms. They were gifts from the good folk at Planned Parenthood, where I recently met with a group of sex-health educators. Since condoms are the most reliable available and reliable protection against unwanted pregnancy and STDs, Planned Parenthood is running a campaign to change the image of the rubber. It got me thinking…

What are the various was in which people can have fun with contraceptives? Must contraceptives be seen as a turn-off, however necessary, or are the part of the collection of toys in your pleasure chest? I’m collecting real-life anecdotes and suggestions, and I welcome yours. The compiled results will likely show up in a future “Intimacies” column I’ll write in The Good Life (names may be withheld on request). What memorable experiences have you had with any form of contraception?

 Ted Fry of the Seattle Times says:

Craigslist has become so deeply rooted in the social fabric of community and relationships that it’s not even product placement when it pops up as a movie’s plot point. We understand implicitly that it’s the place to go when you need a job, a couch or, in the case of “In Search of a Midnight Kiss,” a little companionship.”

At the Frances Moody Newman Distinguished Lecture Series featuring Craig Newmark, founder of Craigslist — one of the most-visited sites on the Web in all time–I got to see and talk to Craig at the University of Texas as Austin. Listen to our exchange in which I asked him about the matches made on his list and if he’s ever used his own list to get a date.

I just got an email from A. Michael Johnson, Ph.D., who was my special guest at BookPeople last March. We had a fascinating conversation about satisfying the libido.

He’s now pleased to announce the dates of this season’s Workshops for Sexually Compulsive and Addicted Men.  These workshops are designed for men new to recovery, men struggling to maintain sexual sobriety, or men undecided as to whether they are sexually addicted.  It may benefit your clients, patients or others you know who struggle with out of control and destructive sexual behavior.  This is the eighth year of this program.

The dates for these 3-day workshops are:
November      14-16 – 2008
March              6- 8 -  2009

A printable flyer may be downloaded from  www.sexual-addict.com/Flyer2008-2009a.pdf .

The workshops are held in beautiful, historic, downtown Austin, Texas.

To learn more about the workshops or sexual addiction go to www.sexual-addict.com.

Contact Dr. Michael Johnson directly at 512 928 4357 or doctor@sexual-addict.com.

For those in the Austin area, Dr. Johnson offers Ongoing, Process Group for Sexually Compulsive and Addicted Men.

www.sexual-addict.com
Austin, Texas
512 928 4357

I haven’t a clue about how many men out there are sexually addicted, but I suspect it’s widespread and highly closeted. If this speaks to you or someone you know, please take action or pass it on.