by Karen | Jul 7, 2008 | Intimacies Discussion Group
In response to the announcement about the upcoming “Intimacies” Discussion Group on Open relationships with author Jenny Block, I got this email:
“Interesting topic.
“One word-nerd suggestion: perhaps note then that the original Open Marriage book advocated freedom in interests and communication, but not sexuality? At least that’s my recollection from reading it, -years- back. My thought is that the author’s intended meaning/vocabulary has shifted in popular culture, to including, perhaps even being primarily interpreted, as multiple sexual/emotional relationships. At least “show and tell” the old book’s cover could be an interesting beginning to “class” <g>. Thoughts?
“best,
(name withheld on request)”
I asked Jenny for a response and she sent this:
“Thank you so much for your email. The book you are referring to, “Open Marriage” by Nena O’Neill and George O’Neill, was indeed much more about freedom in terms of communication, interests, and maintaining one’s individuality within a marriage. It does, however, devote one chapter to the subject of sex. In it, the O’Neills say some wonderful things about jealousy being a “learned response” and presumed sexual ownership of a partner being the demise of many a marriage. They explain that “Man (and we mean both sexes) is not sexually monogamous by nature.” Indeed! That doesn’t necessarily mean they prescribe non-monogamy. “We are not recommending outside sex, but we are not saying it should be avoided either. The choice is entirely up to you…Outside sexual experiences when they are in the context of a meaningful relationship may be rewarding and beneficial to an open marriage.” In other words, to each their own. The bottom line is this: People deserve happy marriages and marriage shouldn’t be the one-size-fits-no-one convention it in many cases is. So, yes, I do believe this book would be an excellent conversation starter and I have plans to bring my copy along with me to the event. As for the vocabulary, that is indeed a problem. I chose the expression open marriage because it seemed like the lesser of the evils. We aren’t swingers. We weren’t poly then. Though I would describe myself that way now. So, open marriage felt like the best fit. It allows for a number of different permutations, which is exactly what I think marriage in general should do.”
Seems to me that the issues haven’t changed since the book by the O’Neills came out with their book in 1972, but the conversation about it is now more candid and direct.
Any more comments or questions in advance of our discussion on July 16? Foreplay’s good.
by Karen | Jul 3, 2008 | Events, Intimacies Discussion Group
If you’re gearing up to celebrate Independence Day, think about how independent you are when it come to sex. My next guest at the Intimacies Discussion Group, Jenny Block, has just written a book, Open: Love, Sex & Life in an Open Marriage. It’s about sex within the confines of an open marriage. And Jenny will be talking to us about the many ups and downs she has had as well as the consequences and lessons she’s learned from having made the decision to open her marriage. It’s a decision she says just may have saved the marriage that she was struggling sexually to survive in. Participants will have plenty of opportunity to share their own stories and ask questions. If you’d like to join the converation but can’t make it on July 16, please post your stories and questions in reply to this. I’ll pass them on to Jenny and you’ll get a reply.
When we had an Intimacies Group discussion in the past on the topic of polyamory, there was a particularly high turn out. So plan to come early to get your seat. Last time, those who weren’t open to polyamory left with a much more tolerant and supportive outlook toward those who choose to have multiple loving relationships. Curious? It’s only natural. Hope to see you on July 16 at BookPeople.
See http://jennyonthepage.com/openbook.html
by Karen | Jun 14, 2008 | Events, Intimacies Discussion Group
Join me and my special guest, Charla Hathaway of the BodyJoy Intimacy School, for a conversation about how to keep Eros strong in your daily life and nightly lovemaking. Charla’s new book, 8 Erotic Nights: Passionate Encounters that Inspire Great Sex for a Lifetime, follows her success with Erotic Massage (both from Quiver Press).
Meet Wednesday, June 18, 2008, 7 pm-8:30 pm on the third floor of BookPeople, 603 N. Lamar. Audience members will be encouraged to share their personal experiences. No charge, just bring your sense of humor and an open mind.
Got questions for Charla, ask them now even if you can't make it to BookPeople, and I'll get her answers for you.
This event is co-sponsored by The Good Life magazine and BookPeople.
by Karen | May 11, 2008 | Events
Remarkable Women Gathering Soon!
I am a panelist at the upcoming Remarkable Women’s Conference, June 6th – 8th. Our discussion is titled, “A Call for a New Sexual Revolution,” and our time frame is on Sunday from 2:45 – 3:45. I would love to see you at our presentation.
I’m excited about the conference and being a part of it – they are really creating a first class experience for everyone involved. The conference is a fantastic opportunity to connect with resources in our community, to meet new friends and contacts and to hearing current information on relevant topics.
One of the benefits of being a speaker is that I get to give a discount to my friends. You can find more information about the conference at www.RemarkableConferences.com <http://www.RemarkableConferences.com/> and when you register just enter coupon code SPKR08 to get $20.00 off the price of registration. You do need to register online by May 15th to get the discount, otherwise the price goes up to $149.00, so act NOW. Men are welcome! The networking alone is worth the investment.
by Karen | Mar 31, 2008 | Events, Intimacies Discussion Group
Join The Good Life columnist Karen Kreps and special guest, Neil Stegall, LCSW, for a conversation about how to keep moodiness from mucking up your love life. Learn how to deal with the emotional fluctuations that affect all relationships. Neil practices psychotherapy to help individuals and couples find practical solutions to improve communication and relationships.
Meet Wednesday, May 21, 2008, 7 pm-8:30 pm on the third floor of BookPeople, 603 N. Lamar. Audience members will be encouraged to share their personal experiences. No charge, just bring your sense of humor and an open mind.
To join the email announcement list of this group, send email to p2paustin-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
This event is co-sponsored by The Good Life magazine and BookPeople.
by Karen | Mar 17, 2008 | Intimacies Discussion Group
Excerpt from the pamphlet “An introduction to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous” Copyright 1985 : S.L.A.A. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship based on the 12 Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. With established meetings in many cities in the United States and several cities overseas, this self-help fellowship is open to people of any age or sexual preference. Members include both those who suffer from a compulsive need for sex, and those with a desperate attachment to one person. What all members have in common is an obsessive/compulsive pattern, either sexual or emotional (or both, in which relationships or activities have become increasingly destructive to all areas of their lives — career, family, and sense of self-respect).
My guest at BookPeople on Wednesday, March 19, will be Michael Johnson, PhD a therapist who counsels people about sexual addiction. We’ll be talking about discerning the difference between intensity and intimacy. Got any questions for Michael? Post them here.
