Intimacies:

I got this note from a man who bought the book yesterday:

I like Karen’s writing style. Its to the point, not overly complicated, and its inspirational in the face of cynicism. For example, take article 1, “Love will cool if cupid’s arrow finds the mark but once a year.”

My favorite passage (p.21): “If you as a couple, don’t make time or mental space for expressions of love, you may become less able to express yourselves with each other in general. …Romantic rituals remind us of the private, soft connection we have with someone. If being romantic doesn’t come naturally, practice a little. You’ll be surprised at how easy it is and how much fun. Send a message that you find your mate special and worth spoiling. …But it is important for you to do something special sometime, and frequently.”

My biggest discovery was finding out that my mate didn’t perceive romance when I thought I was being romantic! I thought it was the hugs and money. Later, I found out it was when I cheerfully and quickly did what she asked of me (usually a repair or a household chore.) I found this out in an exercise where each of us listed 10 ways we tried to show love to the other and 10 ways we wanted to have love shown to us. Only in a few items was there agreement. The unmatched items were new opportunities for conversations about desire and gratitude and not being taken for granted.

As you read Karen’s book, I hope you’ll join me in sharing your favorite quote or passage.